BOG!!

Toilet.

There are some clean bogs in the southern hemisphere. I haven’t been in one that’s not immaculately turned out. Public or Private. I know that this may seem like a slightly troubling thing to discuss but it’s something that I’m not used to in the UK. Even some of my friend’s toilets could take a leaf out of the Kiwi book of bog-care. Yes, my friend’s bogs really have been that unclean in the past! You know who you are but no offense.

The long and winding road.

I have been driving on and off for two days now along some of the finest roads I’ve been on. Free of pot holes and other obstacles that make driving in Britain such a chore. However, compared to NZ we’re like Holland. (In so much that we’re a relatively flat country, as opposed to full of dope-heads – but if you watch Mr Kyle’s show and/or read the Daily Mail/Express then you know that we are full of dope-heads AND they’re procreating and we're heading to hell in a handcart. Scares the shit out of you doesn’t it? AND if you know what I’m talking about then own up because none of my friends admit to watching Mr Kyle’s show and I think some of them are lying anyway AND if you read the Daily Mail/Express please go away quickly).

I’ve been up and down like a yo-yo. The whole place is made up of hundreds of dormant and not so dormant volcanoes so it’s a hilly old place. If I wasn’t driving an automatic I’d have given up long ago (or about 300 kilometres, whichever would have been quicker). Even now, I keep getting cramp because it’s a constant case of foot on gas, foot off gas, foot on, foot off! Frankly, it’s getting cramp-tastic but hopefully that’ll stop for a day or two because we head to Rotorua tomorrow and I hope to either put the keys down or give them to the wife to take over. I’ll report back on this one.

For the record, I think Kyle's show is a work of comedy genius and as such, should be applauded. See, at least I admit it and i'm going away now.